Guy #3′s Ten Favourite Television Characters

No one can make laugh, smile or shake my head in such gut wrenching disbelief as 9 of these 10 men, and the tenth just made me wish he was my dad.

Jack Donaghy – 30 Rock:

“I bow hunt polar bear. I once drove a rental car into the Hudson to practice escaping. And it’s not the public speaking, there’s just something about performing I can’t wrap my brain around. All this creative crap. Acting. Ahhh. I’ve never been able to do it. Never.”

The confidence that exudes from Jack Donaghy as he delivers his executive opinion on whatever Liz Lemon brings to his attention is priceless. He always has the answer to everything and leads his merry band of misfits at 30 Rock through the nightmares they themselves create. He’s the ultimate spoof of a corporate executive that we can all laugh at, and with, as he continues to poke fun at his right hand Liz Lemon.

2 Emmy’s, 3 Golden Globes

Jack Bauer – 24:

“The only reason that you’re conscious right now is because I don’t want to carry you.”

The pinnacle of raw aggression, brilliant tactics and unyielding courage are all found in Jack Bauer. There’s nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing that this man would stop at to see his mission completed. There’s always consequences for his actions as he’s often reprimanded, but the brilliance of this character is in watching the pain in the eyes of his superiors as they release him, like a rabid wolf back out on society because they know at the end of the day, no one can get the job done like Jack Bauer.

1 Emmy, 1 Golden Globe

Sheldon Cooper – The Big Bang Theory:

“In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.”

With an unrivalled intelligence and unquestionable social confusion Sheldon Cooper is the closest thing to being an android since the great Lt. Commander Data on Star Trek: TNG, yeah I just did that, but I know Sheldon won’t mind the comparison. The great difference of course, that takes Sheldon to another level is his absolute unwillingness to compromise in any and every situation: From roommate contracts to halo night and of course HIS seat, Sheldon unequivocally refuses to relinquish control.

1 Emmy, 1 Golden Globe

Homer Simpson – The Simpsons:

“To alcohol; the cause of and solution too, all of life’s problems!”

Potentially the most dysfunctional father ever on television, this cartoon has been a presence in our society for over two decades. He’s been everywhere and done everything, all the while making us laugh and shake our heads. Homer Simpson is a benchmark in TV excellence!

4 Emmy’s, Time Magazine Man of the Year

Michael Scott – The Office:

“That’s what she said!”

Love him or hate him this bumbling oaf of a branch manager has singlehandedly changed the way we view each other’s sentence structure, turning everything into a sexual innuendo and giving us the ammunition to use when we detect a slip up. Michael Scott never ceases to have a bad idea, and always gets upset when he doesn’t get his way. He’s always left us questioning how he ever became branch manager in the first place, and baffled us further by remaining branch manager and leaving on his own terms.

1 Golden Globe

Dexter Morgan – Dexter:

“No blood. No sticky, hot, messy, awful blood; no blood at all. Why hadn’t I thought of that? No blood. What a beautiful idea!”

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought it possible to cheer so longingly for a serial killing. The tragedy of Dexter Morgan draws you in and turns this man who under any other circumstance would be locked away in a psychiatric ward, into a remarkable protagonist. Unlike our desire for companionship, belonging and acceptance he purely desires death by his own hand. Though we see Dexter become less and less cold as family and “friends” impact his life, the core of his being still yearns for the only gratification he knows, making him a constant threat to his own safety and security as he continues to hide in plain sight.

1 Golden Globe

Chandler Bing – Friends:

[to Wendy, his colleague who is coming on to him] “You’re a great person… ham-stealing and adultery aside.”

Always with a quick wit and fanatic expression Chandler Bing always seemed to make me laugh the most of all his Friends. Among a brilliant cast that was often snubbed come award season Perry always shawn as a staple in this beloved program. But this isn’t about awards it’s about how Chandler Bing often awkwardly and sarcastically navigated his Friendships for 10 years. In my opinion, one of the most underrated characters in TV history.

Gregory House – HOUSE:

“I’m not sad, I’m complicated!”

Gregory House pushes the limits of everyone he comes in contact with, in every way he can possibly conceive, as far as he can possibly take it, with only FOX and the FCC preventing absolute and utter mayhem. This self indulgent, narcissistic, mess of a man is only the shell of a brilliant and troubled doctor who has never been able to overcome the tragedy of losing significant mobility in his right leg.

2 Golden Globes

Sandy Cohen – The OC:

Sandy: When did you become so cynical?

Kirsten: When did you become so self-righteous?

Sandy: I’ve always been self-righteous. You used to find it charming.

Smooth, caring and clever are just a few of the attributes Peter Gallagher brought to his character Sandy Cohen while always managing  to save the day on The OC. His desire for distance from the privileged life of the Newbsies brought a very genuine element to the surf crazy lawyer. One of the few characters throughout the course of The OC to always deliver on your expectations.

Do teen choice awards count?

 
Ari Gold – Entourage:

“We’re gonna dent that headboard. No bull****. I guarantee you! You will not walk right tomorrow.”

If our grandmothers ever watched a single episode of Entourage they’d have our mouths washed out with soap for just listening to the things that come out of Ari Gold’s face. And it’s not just the brilliant lines; it’s the fury and outrage that they’re consistently delivered with. With Vincent Chase being the only exception Ari Gold doesn’t care who you are or why you’ve done something; if it doesn’t line up with his master plan you’re getting an earful of television Gold.

3 Emmy’s, 1 Golden Globe